Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wear drunk well.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
