I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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