Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
