remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
