i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
