dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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