Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
