Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We left an ass print on the piano.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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