Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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