I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize