My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
