My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
