just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
