Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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