why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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