Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
