so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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