Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
