and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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