His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
