Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
nutella sex= disaster
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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