I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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