the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
