I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
