First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
