fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
