Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
