Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
