Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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