its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
