it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
