Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
