I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
