Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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