Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
