Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
