using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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