Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
