Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize