we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
