Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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