PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
