Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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