This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
