I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
