I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
