Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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