I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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