I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize