Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Randomize
