For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize