the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I enjoy the company of your penis
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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