god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm too high and old for this...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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