I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
