I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
