Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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