Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
