He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
